I will read to you from the book of Matthew — “Watch therefore, for ye know neither the day nor the hour wherein your report card cometh.” If you are like me, you dreaded that day. Somehow each time I hoped there would be a reprieve. An emergency school closure, a plague of locusts, something. But invariably, the day of doom arrived. I checked the mail each day in a carefully calibrated manner: Urgently, but not too urgently, without trying too hard to look casual. Then steamed it open when I had a moment alone without interruption. “What are you doing?”
“Boiling eggs.”
“We’re out of eggs”.
“Oh, okay.”
After that came the waiting. Not being good at excuses, I generally just hid it until the authorities resigned themselves to the fact that it had to be bad news. That way they were relieved when it was terrible instead of horrible. Maybe you were better than me at excuses.
“Didn’t the report cards come out”?
“Not yet.”
“Everyone else got theirs”.
Panic.
“Oh, see, that’s because –” and you released a torrent of creativity your teachers would have given you an A for.
As I said in another essay, we are creatures of immediacy. If there is no report card, there’s no failure, right? Everything will be fine as long as no one see that dreaded instrument, that emissary of doom, the little envelope that seals your fate.
But here’s the thing: In the rest of your life your report card can’t be hidden. Everyone sees it. Everyone knows. This was true long before things were online. Plus there is an Official Ledger where your good works, or lack thereof, are recorded. Yes, there is. In each area of life, each subculture, each community, there is an accounting of who has done what. A Book of Life just like in a Chick tract. You can’t pretend you’re something more than you are, or to have done things you haven’t. Not for long. People will notice. They will check. And when they do –“His name does not appear, Lord”. And you will be cast into the lake of fire.
Early lessons are remembered for life. The experience of taking a test, at a specific time determined in advance, stays with us, and we forget that the test never ends. The Big Test that determines the rest of your life can happen at any time, with no advance notice. The lessons aren’t usually given at a specific time when you’re prepared to give your attention. And the report card isn’t given to you, in fact you usually can’t even see it. But everyone else sees it. They see you. Your report card is printed on your face. You can’t hide it, not very well anyway, and not at all from the people who really know.
So study hard. Do your homework. There will be a test. And your report card will remain in effect until you earn a new grade.