“Be a Winner!” You hear that every day. From game shows to TED talks, the message to Be a Winner is pumped in from all sides. But there is something much more important, which earlier generations were taught going back thousands of years. Essential knowledge which was passed down by society, until “society” consisted of schools which taught you that everyone is a special snowflake. A life lesson rarely imparted today, though it’s needed as much as ever. Here it is [hurt feelings alert]: Don’t Be a Loser.
You know what I’m talking about. The guy who can’t hold a job. The graduate who chose a useless major and is now a barista and blames Republicans. The millennial who fails to launch. The guy who is always the first one laid off and says it is “because of China”. The sad sack who things keep happening to. These people are accepted or at least tolerated because the consequences for doing something to deal with them are perceived as worse than the cost of allowing them to continue the way they have been. But the costs both to the world and to themselves are huge.
Imagine you are one of two survivors of a plane crash. You are unharmed and the only other person is unable to walk. This other person is important to you for some reason. You are in the middle of the jungle and there is no way to communicate with the outside world. It is up to you to get yourself and the other person out of this situation. How much time would you spend making excuses for why you are there? How much value would the other person place on your excuses? How would their estimation of you rise or fall based on your actions or lack thereof?
Now a different scenario: You’re in a remote village in the Arctic. It is impossible to get anywhere else until Spring. How long will you be fed if you don’t help hunt or otherwise do useful work? How long before your lack of usefulness becomes a problem? How long will you allow yourself to be That Guy?
You will say, that isn’t my situation and most of the world isn’t like that.
Yes, it is. If you have parents/credit/EBT you won’t starve if you fail, which only postpones the consequences of failure. Also hides them from you, at least enough to allow you to keep believing you’re a winner, or at least will soon be. Meanwhile you keep plugging along in Loserville. That place where everyone except you sees you as a nuisance at best, or more likely a nuisance and a burden. Maybe you do see it. That doesn’t help. You being aware of the problem does not solve the problem.
Your mission, whether or not you choose to accept it, is this: Don’t stumble along in a fog of failure and confusion. Don’t be a burden to society, your tribe, your friends, or yourself. Even if you have so little self-respect that you don’t care, others will make you care. Before you can Be A Winner!, you have another, more fundamental, more important obligation: Don’t Be a Loser.