You’re a puppet. You think you’re a real live human, but if you act like a puppet then you are one. Sometimes it seems like the puppet life might not be so bad, being nice and soft and plushy. But you aren’t King Friday and the person pulling your strings isn’t Mr. Rogers. It’s someone who wants to control you and hurt you. They do it easily because you let yourself get puppetized.
“No I don’t!”. Yes you do. When you respond the way the would-be puppeteer wants you to, you become a puppet. Their puppet. But you won’t be cared for and snuggled, you will be stepped on, chewed by the dog, and thrown in the trash when you aren’t fun to play with anymore like my landlord did me (sup Thomas). No one will rescue you like the Velveteen Rabbit. You will be eaten by rats.
You have to realize something important about puppeteers: They don’t care how you feel or what you say as long as you are doing what they want, and not doing what they don’t want. This is something obvious yet easily overlooked. When we feel powerless we try to find ways to assert our agency or at least our identity. We tell the person how we feel. We tell them off. You showed him! — showed him, that is, that you are in fact willing to be his puppet as long as you object from time to time. The puppeteer doesn’t care about your words, he just wants you to keep dancing and never cut the strings.
So how do I prevent this?, you ask. Try this: Picture yourself as a puppet. Wait, you don’t get to have fangs and big claws for this one. You are a puppet version of yourself as you are right now. Picture the puppet version of the other person too. Play it out exactly as it either happened or will happen. Then watch yourself afterward. In my case, in one memorable instance I see myself collasping into a black suicidal depression, unable to feel anything good or able to even want to feel better. Which is exactly what my evil roommate wanted. I knew that at the time but I didn’t see it clearly enough. In the moment it can be hard to see. That’s how puppet theater can help. If you see yourself and the other person from the outside it may be easier to see what’s going on.
And don’t be deceived — puppeteers know what they are. When you call them on it, they will act outraged at your accusation. The very idea! Thet will lie, distort, twist your words, make a fuss, and use all manner of tactics to get you to do what they want. Don’t get drawn into this part of the play and don’t think that they don’t know exactly, but exactly, what they’re doing. It’s all an act to get you to follow the plan. Their plan.
Maybe you can combine this with what I suggest in another essay — what would Puppet Steve do if he were in your place? You can do that too. It’s hard to do but it’s better than being a puppet. Among other things, you will never get all that gum out of your fur.