Stay Angry

If someone does something to you that makes you furious, stay that angry at him. Forever. It’s stupid, weak, lazy and immoral to do otherwise. I’ll address these one at a time —

It’s stupid. This person did that thing. You know he did it, he knows he did it. To deny or ignore reality is stupid. Plus, he will do it again, especially if you tell him, by not staying angry, that it’s okay. It’s not okay. It never will be. Don’t act like it is.

It’s weak. Yes, confrontation and conflict are hard for many people, including me. That’s what bad people are counting on. It’s bad enough if you aren’t able to come out on the winning side of a conflict, but don’t make it worse by acting like you’re okay with what happened. If further contact will only result in more badness, at least don’t act like it’s all good. That’s pathetically weak. Everyone will have even more contempt for you if you do that, and they should.

It’s lazy. Sam Harris says it takes effort to stay angry and maybe he’s right. So what? It takes effort to do a lot of things. That doesn’t mean you stop doing them. It may take an effort to switch from being in an okay mood, then that guy comes into the room and you have to respond. You shouldn’t act like you’re okay, because you’re not. So what if it takes effort? It’s what the right thing to do is. Don’t be too lazy to stick up for yourself.

It’s immoral. When you let a bad person get away with things, you are keeping him free to do it again, to you as well as other people. Don’t let it go. The guy who hurt you, like Thomas Robertson did me in Durant Nature Park and repeatedly thereafter, will do it again. By not telling the relevant authorities in Boston about the illegal shit he did to me when he was my landlord, I made it possible to Thomas to do his other tenants at his other properties the same way he did me. I didn’t realize it at the time but it was immoral to not act. It’s also wrong to tell such a person, by your continued inaction on the one hand and tolerance of them on the other, that what he did is okay. It’s not and never will be. You’re enabling such people by not making it clear, by actions not words (they don’t care about words, they’ve been told what they are and don’t care), that their behavior is unacceptable.